ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize