Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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