I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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