He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think i have herpe
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.