I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
