I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize