you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize
