there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
