so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
