Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
