Do you still have your period?
id be glad to
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
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I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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