yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
