I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
