I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Randomize
