I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
