let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
