The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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