dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
