His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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