You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
