I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
