I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
