have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
