Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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