I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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