I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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