shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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