I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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