She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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