I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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