Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
