My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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