you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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