There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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