i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
