Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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