If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
