the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Ladies don't puke and tell
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
