I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
