Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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