So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
