My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
my poor anus
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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