i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he fucked my hip out of place.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
