so explain again why im purple
no
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
