i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
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Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
3pm strippers are depressing
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
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I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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