Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
