yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
