it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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