it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
