I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize