Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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