First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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