Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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