is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Vodka?
Forever.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
