I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
