Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
