Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dignity is for republicans.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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