is wine microwaveable?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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