Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
