Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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